How much will the Nintendo 3DS cost?

There’s been speculation on the US price for the upcoming Nintendo 3DS. It’s OMG-3D capabilities aside, the excitement for the new handheld has blown up due to tech demos of Zelda and Metal Gear titles. Big-N has brought nostalgia back, and you motherfuckers don’t know how to act.

Several months ago the price was announced for Japan, and it was a doozy. Listed at around $249 (US bucks), it knocked many people on their ass (onto their now-empty wallets). When asked for reasoning by the press, Nintendo said it was due to the positive reaction of fans.

Really. They just said “People really want it, so we’re going to make you pay more than you should”. so they’re the hot chick with ginormous boobs that knows fat nerds will pay for Red Lobster instead of Long John Silver’s just for a chance to rub their Sour Cream and Onion-covered digits all over its mammary goodness.

Did they do anything different from other companies? Apple products demand a premium price and no one complains (much). But they never blatently come out and say “Wow you assholes want this, don’t you? Well how ’bout…say, $600? That’s sounds fair since you have no choice.” Although I haven’t heard Nintendo take the Steve Jobs route and call it magical yet.

What if we as consumers reacted differently? Certainly we wouldn’t have the same price point if we use this logic. As a matter of fact, let’s start the new press storm for the Nintendo 3DS that will hopefully level out the price.

COMING 2011, A 3-D TURD CRAPPED OUT OF MIYAMOTO’S ASS DURING ONE OF HIS OFF DAYS, THE NINTENDO 3DS. IT WILL RUIN AMERICA, IF NOT ALL OF EARTH. ALL OF YOUR FAVORITE NINTENDO CHARACTERS LOATH IT AND FEAR THAT THEY’LL BE FORCED TO HAVE A GAME ON IT.
MARIO FEARS IT SO MUCH HE STABBED PRINCESS PEACH ON A COLD WINTER’S NIGHT, JUST TO SEE THE STEAM FROM HER BODY RISE INTO THE DARKNESS. HE PRAYED THAT THIS SACRIFICE TO THE SPIRIT WOLF WOULD PREVENT THE NIGHTMARISH 3DS FROM COMING TO YOU. MARIO DIDN’T WANT TO KILL HER, BUT THE 3DS IS SO TERRIBLE THAT HE HAD NO CHOICE. 3DS = MURDER OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS.
COMING 2011!!!

OK, let’s see if that works.